Self-Love is NOT Selfish: 6 self-loving tips for a better you!

Self-love is NOT Selfish

Oh, to be wholly in love with yourself. That is not selfish.

For an awfully long time, I would read a bunch of books and quotes on self-love. I remember coming across the words 'self-love is not selfish' and I pondered on this. I never truly understood what the full meaning of self-love meant.

I mean, I liked myself so surely that was enough?

But it never was enough. Self-love is an action, not just a feeling

It was never enough because I never truly knew how to love myself. What I knew was how to help others feel happy and loved. So I thought that was enough for my self-love as I was doing the right thing by others.

This year has taught me so many lessons and now I understand the truth of self-love.

The Truth about self-love

It's accepting your flaws and being okay afterwards.

Self-love is understanding the real YOU!

Accepting the sensitive and empathetic you.

Accepting that you don't need to look or say the perfect thing. Accepting that everything will be okay as long as you had YOU!

Self-love IS loving YOU but in a much deeper way than just your outer shell. It's loving the inner you and taking actions every day to give yourself that love.

I have been on a spiritual journey this year with the word Self-love and I am beyond excited to share with you some of my top tips on how to open your heart fully to yourself.

In each topic, I will discuss with you on a very personal level of how & why it is important to implement these into your life if you truly want to feel that love.

#1 Setting healthy boundaries

This includes you too!

I struggled big-time entirely understanding & learning this. Setting healthy boundaries is about honouring yourself enough to say NO to what isn't good for you. Boundaries act as a buffer to protect yourself emotionally from any upsetting situation.

I battled with saying no. No to family, no to friends, no to the boss and no to myself. Self-love is putting yourself first. Understand that it's okay if you don't want to do something just because it would only make someone else happy and not you.

Your happiness is always the No.1 priority here.

I struggled with this when it came to any type of confrontation. Being empathy I naturally feel other's emotion, so whenever the thought of saying no to someone or standing up for myself appeared I would back down into my turtle shell. I would rather put up with not being happy temporarily to keep someone else happy.

Enough is Enough. Time to say NO Sis and set your healthy boundaries.

Ways to do this:

  • Tune into your feelings - when it doesn't feel good.. you know what to do.

  • Figure out what you will and won't accept out of life and people.

  • Permit yourself to have these boundaries in place.

  • BE DIRECT - Say no and walk away with dignity. You always come first, babe!

  • Honour yourself and give loving words back.

  • Seek support - people you trust can help you understand how to do this.

  • Practise small if you are not confident and accept that it is okay.