Quality over Quantity
It's perfectly fine to have only a few selected close friends in your life. As you get older, you will realise the importance of true and genuine friendships.
Maybe you moved or everyone else moved away from your hometown.
Maybe your friends got married or started a family before you did so the timing of catching up has changed.
Maybe you don't connect with friends in the same way because habits and lifestyle changes have occurred.
Change is very normal and happens throughout life.
As life changes, people change.
We must be able to adapt, however, some of us struggle with change especially when you feel as if you have barley any friends anymore.
Having tons of friends doesn't mean much if they're not the kind of people who will stick around for life.
The Need For People
I used to be that girl who needed many people around me.
I depended on the constant love and reassurance, even if they were more toxic than kind. I would be so afraid of being alone that I would dim my light just to keep 'them' happy. I would fight for friendships and make sure that they were thriving! Even when they were not serving me, or I wasn't serving them anymore.
I felt the need to be constantly wanted.
It was very unhealthy, this is when I soon started practicing the art of Self-Love, which then came to the confidence of Self-Assurance.
By understanding both practices, I started to recognise and adopt important values for myself and for those that I now choose to be apart of my life.
These values are:
As you get older, you will respect yourself more and you will notice the behaviours of others around you that won't align with these values. You will start weeding out people that are bad for you and those that don't serve you in your life anymore.
Life is forever changing as do we.
What are your values?
Do you know your values?
Are your values the same as you place on those closest to you?
Really ask yourself these questions!
Once you do this and the weeding begins, you may panic because you start noticing you have little to possibly only yourself as a friend.
Your phone may not blow up as it used to, you might not get invited to events or social activities or maybe you might even feel as if no one is around anymore especially if your good friends are busy.
This is because you are getter older and wiser with your values.
You will realise that being popular becomes trivial if not comical!
I Am Popular Though?
If you are someone who is popular by socialising frequently and have many friends, I want you to ask yourself these questions:
Really be truthful with yourself.
Who would be there for me if I had big life problems and needed help?
Who are the ones that make me feel better when I am down?
Who can I ask to help support me in a big life-changing decision?
If I had nothing, I was poor, who would still continue to be my friend and be there for me?
By asking questions like these, it really makes you think about your circle of friends. Some of us may have ten or twenty friends that they can confidently rely on, and this is amazing!
However, this blog article will be focused solely for those of us that feel we don't have many friends and why it's great to only have a few friends.
Written with proof by me!
Being alone with only a few friends is normal and fine.
Here are my reasons why.
8 REASONS WHY IT'S GREAT TO ONLY HAVE A FEW FRIENDS
#1 It Increases Your Independence & Confidence
It's nice having friends around to lean on when you are going through a rough patch in life. However, if you constantly seek reassurance from friends to pick you up daily, then you learn to depend on them.
What would happen if they couldn't be there for you because life got busy for them?
By being alone and having minimal friends, you learn the value of backing yourself! You can make your own damn decisions for your life and you know you don't need the reassurance of a friend. Friends may be great to discuss your feelings on personal change or decisions; However, you are accountable for controlling your life. Having little friends means you can start becoming your first best friend.
I would rather be my own first best friend as I know myself, love myself, trust myself, and can rely on myself. Use this statement as an affirmation if you struggle with this, it really helps.
If you don't love yourself or trust yourself, then you need to practise Self-love first!
#2 It Enhances Growth Opportunities
When you rely on groups of friends to guide you through life, you might miss out on discovering personal opportunities. By being alone more often, you have the independent ability to find new hobbies and skills that you love!
When you find new hobbies, as crazy or cool as they may be!
Your true and genuine small group of friends will support you to practise and not worry about being a fool because you did this for YOU!
If you are in a circle of friends where you feel you can't be your true authentic self and may need permission or avoid doing things you love in fear of judgement, well are they really friends at all?
This is the best thing about being alone with minimal friends.
I personally feel I don't need to follow trends to fit in with my circle.
I can be my spiritual and quirky self without judgement.
I can be content with being alone for days without feeling left out or unwanted.
What do you feel when being alone?
Think only of the positives in this situation.
Relying on groups of friends